Mimic

I guess that day rewired my brain. I so stupidly believed that you were only as evil as I had already known. Perhaps that was all I could handle to see at the time. God knows I saw so much more before then. But that day, the slow screech of my heart losing its final piece, signaled my impending freedom from a relationship I only ever had to leave. Choosing to grieve on my own shoulder because I won't admit how much I miss a version of you that never got a chance to exist. Is it crazy to say I know them? Perhaps they visited me in my dreams. When you screamed at me to leave maybe the other you sang to me in my sleep. Hugged me close, apologized, and regulated my heartbeat. Who I love is imagined while the one I left persists. And my brain, so fragile, so innocent. It's you it likes to mimic.