For as long as I can remember, I’ve been creating. Whether it was cooking, baking, jewelry making, cross stitching, painting, or crocheting, I tackled everything that caught my eye. I earned my choir solos and my first chair performances with my beloved clarinet. But like every artist, I hated being controlled. I created for my sake and ran when I felt dangerously close to letting others take what I intended for my own soul.
For years I was stuck, convinced that I didn’t love anything enough to see it through, leaving me with nothing to do though I had endless options to choose. Imagine my surprise when some years ago I found writings over a decade old. I suppose they were forgotten partially due to the English teacher I had that I wouldn’t wish on anyone (to put it nicely) and partially due to my depressive state (said teacher wasn’t the cause but she definitely didn’t help). Some of these writings were journals, some were songs. There’s one I vaguely remember writing with sobs between my breaths but I’m certain I discarded it long ago.
I have no earthly clue when I started writing creatively for myself, but I know I’ve been creating my entire life. I imagine this site will mostly be dedicated to writing, but it’s likely more accurately dedicated to expressing the unbelievable range of emotions that I’ve felt in my mere twenty-seven years of life in this incarnation. Sometimes I don’t have the words, so I create songs to fill in the blanks. You may also see visual art from time to time whether it evoked emotion or it was created from emotion.
At last, when you are consuming my creativity in any capacity, focus on what it means to you and share that message, if you feel called. I don’t create to be understood (that ship sailed long ago, never made it to its destination, and has since returned to me safely). I create to understand my existence and it is my hope that these creations will help you do the same.
From one artist to another (yes, you), create a life that’s tailored to you and you’ll make space for the happiness that’s always lived inside you.
Love,
Hadiya 🤍
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